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Frankly, I'm tired.

There are exactly 3 months since I haven't written on this awesome blog, but just decided it's time to break the ice and go back on track.
Once upon a time, there was a small little world with a small little hopeless girl begging and trying to get in it. Then, the miracle appeared, so did the challenges whilst she defended herself and overcame them somehow, successfully..
Then was then. Now is now. Soon will be soon. Sometimes I wish my mind would get it better than my soul. And why is that? Well, my mind is a complete chaos, quite the opposite, you see, while my soul is peacefully resting, having occupied most of the space by one single person. Oh my! Is this truly happening? R. fell in love and finally decided to maintain one single contact with a human being on the very emotional sensitivity of the heart? Oh well.. it seems true. It just seems..
Then again, let's go back to my mind. You know, my mom used to read all this 'secret', 'conversations with god' thingy's.. but I knew them from the beginning ! And then comes her answer : "why didn't you apply it, then?". Oh well... lazyness? tiresome? Whatever it meant back then, now it means everything being in the pits of despair by trying desperately to repair the own same mistakes again and again.. Again..
I'm listening to this music, you know, trying to find the limit and above it, the bullet point from my mind.
So, it all started when I decided to go to D. (let's call it this way) , most specifically having a higher education which motivated me a lot.. Now, I'm just 'ah, whatever'. Why is that ?! Maybe because I am growing older and 'wiser'? I think so, too. Damn, I'm good. But not as good as the comfy bed I'm sitting at the moment.. which reminds me of the early morning wake up I need to attend *yay*.
I'll get back to you, for now, frankly, I'm tired..*music in the background while me gently shutting off the light and pulling over the cover for the bed..-sleep tight !*

I don’t want to have to start over a million times. I want to have an abundance of good things in my life, and I want it to spread out evenly..


Love,
R.

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