Undressed

Source: personal photo of myself Look at me, again and tell me what can you see?                                                                There is such a mess, what can I say..maybe I should just shut up, I am letting you to sting me with your last needle.. With your last words that's passing through your mind.. A sick mind, blown away of regrets.. And why do you regret?Why us?Why like this? Why can't you change something right now? Why do you leave your head down and smoke, and if I tell you, If I tell you "change yourself", you just close yourself. And again, you leave me sleep on it, I'm in a continuously balance of my life.. And again, you leave me alone, better forget about me! Forget about everything,  Forget about the world, about feelings, soulmates, whispers in the ear, Be cold,...

Dear you, I hope you read it ! I really hope you do because there is something inside me that's screaming for a change and you know what?  All my life I tried my best to please others! Others include family, friends, boyfriends, teachers.. what else? What else do you want, world? I think it's enough ! I want to feel free. Like this, tiger in a cage. Release the tiger and so shall the anger be. All the time I feel it was borrowed and I never left my soul to rest. I think it's time. Everything is anyway over. My mind feels different and even my soul. What else can you do about it? Pull the trigger? You know what? Shut up and drive. Far, far away where you belong ! Mental disabilities or even capabilities. I should be like the guy from "A beautiful mind", the one smart dumb-ass with 3 imaginary friends! And I wonder.. is it worth it? Be smarter than the rest all your life so that you will receive a punch in the face every time you're wrong in front of them? ...

There are exactly 3 months since I haven't written on this awesome blog, but just decided it's time to break the ice and go back on track. Once upon a time, there was a small little world with a small little hopeless girl begging and trying to get in it. Then, the miracle appeared, so did the challenges whilst she defended herself and overcame them somehow, successfully.. Then was then. Now is now. Soon will be soon. Sometimes I wish my mind would get it better than my soul. And why is that? Well, my mind is a complete chaos, quite the opposite, you see, while my soul is peacefully resting, having occupied most of the space by one single person. Oh my! Is this truly happening? R. fell in love and finally decided to maintain one single contact with a human being on the very emotional sensitivity of the heart? Oh well.. it seems true. It just seems.. Then again, let's go back to my mind. You know, my mom used to read all this 'secret', 'conversations with ...