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If only the table turned and feel that the time has not gone and I am still here, so please tell me what I need to hear! If only I were to think much better rather than waisting so much time. If only I have paid attention to details. If only it was closer than close. If only..
Things can never be the same when my emotions come clear and my mind thinks the same as my heart! Dear heart, please let me go with the flow! please, leave my confessions to the door and let time decide what is better and what could be done, more! Let it be! Living my moment is just as outrageously childish as telling a stranger you love him. Stupid, though it may work. Must I rewind backwards? Decide what is best for me, of course. Just thinking of all the moments that had passed by me makes me repent my sins. I have had many sins in my life, but who didn't? Indeed, I have never in my life, fooled my heart, because for me, it is the most important myogenic muscular organ. You cannot live without it! As much as I love telling myself that I'm alike 'ice box', I find it hard to cope with people without telling the truth from the bottom of my heart! Every angle of my soul has an urge to desire.You know, sometimes love chooses to leave and do not try to bring it back or point fingers on who caused it to end. Let it go.There is a reason and there is a meaning.You will know in time, but time itself will choose the moment.Remember that you don’t choose love. Love chooses you! The way people think and express themselves is that we all go through the same situations in life, we just experience it differently. I miss love. I miss falling in love, again. Since I have never experienced or chosen love to being my primary reason to live for, I have never thought of it deeply until now. I have reached to the limits where my thoughts define my personality. I never believed in love at first sight although I know many people, close ones too, who have experienced this situation. I, myself believe that my soul mate is somewhere in the world or does not exist! I come to a conclusion that I musn't find love, search for it, pray for it or whatever. I have never done that and I'm not in the pits of despair to do that, as well. I smile when God smiles to me and softly whispers to my ear: 'you deserve happiness in life. choose love. follow your heart.' I smile and everyone will smile at my presence! I am what I am and I absolutely adore what I have become. I don't dream at marriage, kids to have, a handsome prince or whatever. I dream of dreaming because mistery is part of my life and complicated feels better when it's just about me + you.
'Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe and enjoy the ride.'
XoXo,
Roxanne.